Wife of an architecture grad student…

So Ethan started his last year of his Master of Architecture this summer after completing a 1 year internship. When we were dating while in undergrad, it was all long distance. My only concept of how busy he was when about once a month or so he wouldn’t call for 3-5 days and texts messages would be few and far between.

Now that we are married it is a little different from that. I wouldn’t say that it is terribly difficult but there is some frustration. Some of his assignments he has to do on campus, he likes to meet with professors, professors like to keep classes later (always the night classes), his phone always died before the end of the day, and there are literally days where I don’t see him or speak real words to him until 10-10:30 at night (let me remind you I wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work). While his schedule is nothing like he described (or maybe it feels that way to me because he at least comes home and works at his desk instead of staying at studio until the wee hours of the morning) I have created a few things I do to keep myself and him from going crazy.

1. I cook some sort of dinner every single night that he doesn’t have to be at school late. Granted we are sit at the dinner table types of people (I have no idea what we will do once we have kids), but sitting around the coffee table watching Doctor Who and eating tex-mex together just helps with keeping some kind of feeling that we are married and a couple and its where we do the majority of our talking.

2. We attempt to go on walks… my attempt I mean once a week, and sometimes not at all, but we try! The dog needs it too.

3. I do a lot of cleaning on the days he is at school late. Then I can clean my way and there is no “but my mom told me to do it this way” comments or discussions (though those generally aren’t bad conversations with us. We are good about just making suggestions). Cleaning has to be done and it is a good stress reliever, though there are only so many times you can clean the kitchen and vaccuum the floors.

4. I know exactly when I am allowed to distract my husband from his work and I take advantage of those opportunities.

5. Going on mini-dates. These generally are our Sunday lunches after church, but going out to eat and then taking a stroll in downtown Geneva or St. Charles is a nice easy way to get away from it all.

6. I play with my dog, Lilly.

As you can see not all of these concern both of us. Some of them are my way of not going crazy. I’m sure Ethan has his own by himself activities so he doesn’t go crazy (i.e. computer games). It’s good in all relationships to have things to do together to get away from it all and have things to do on your own or with your own friends. Its just healthy.


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